Sanity Strategies for Women in Small Biz
by Janet Scarborough

Female small business owners are usually extremely capable in a variety of ways. Launching a business requires courage to leave the safety of a corporate paycheck, an orientation to detail needed to implement a business plan and manage finances, interpersonal savvy to market products or services, persistence to resolve challenges and problems as they arise, and integrity to honor commitments to customers and clients.

Ironically, these valuable abilities to multi-task and to take care of business can be the same characteristics that set women up for exhaustion and burnout. I encourage entrepreneurial women to utilize sanity strategies with the same fervor with which we pursue small business success. Here are some tips for ensuring a well-integrated life:

• Make taking care of yourself as important a priority as meeting work deadlines and filing quarterly taxes. Every so often, survey your sleeping habits, nutrition, exercise, and time for play. If you are shorting yourself in any of these areas, rearrange your life so as to ensure you are getting enough rest, vitamins, physical activity, and pleasure. If this is challenging for you, check out ComfortQueen.com for daily inspiration.
  
  
• Stay true to the work you love to do. There will always be persons advising you to expand into some supposedly lucrative area that will take you farther away from the tasks you like best. Resist the urge to be pulled off track. You probably started your own business out of the desire to control your own destiny, so choices are yours to make!
  
  
• What part of your business stresses you out the most? Identify this area and consider exchanging pieces of projects with another business owner or hiring help. If you are convinced you can't afford part-time help, calculate the cost to you of struggling with something that is not congruent with your natural strengths and interests. Failing to secure assistance may be more expensive than you think.
  
  
• Create a circle of support. Join groups of other women in small business. For camaraderie, collegiality, mentoring, and guidance, network with women who are in the same stage of their business lives as you are and with women who are ahead of you in some areas. Take the time to cultivate relationships that will serve as the larger community in which you and your business exist.
  
  
• Trust your intuition. If every time you interact with a particular person or professional group you end up feeling drained and depressed, set limits on your willingness to be in the presence of those influences. Even if it means turning away potential business, learn to say, "No." As a small business owner, you cannot afford to allow negative energy to demoralize or undermine you.
  
  
• Congratulate yourself for being part of an elite group. Only 6.3% of all women earning income are self-employed. If you are one of them, celebrate!
  

Janet Scarborough is a career coach, therapist, and owner of Bridgeway Career Development in Seattle, Washington. Happily self-employed, she enjoys assisting women to achieve entrepreneurial success. She welcomes feedback and can be contacted at [email protected].

Caring for Yourself
written by Linda Anderson, MS, CMCH, Email: [email protected]

When we were young, we seemed to have all the time in the world. We may have taken life for granted and not worried about what we didn't do today, always relying on a tomorrow in which to fulfill our dreams. Many of us may have rushed through the years of our childhood, impatient to be older and able to do grown-up activities that seemed so glamorous. As young adults, we may have continued to believe there was lots of time in which to reach our goals and if one avenue didn't prove successful, we remained hopeful, trying something else the next time.

Most of the population is now in middle age. We have grown wiser with experience and learned something of humility, realizing we do not have complete control of our destiny and that we too are mortal. This midway point is a time of reflection, an acknowledgement that life's pathway may sometimes become hidden or difficult. We may question our decisions more, feeling less confident since the choices may be more long lasting, irreversible and there is less opportunity for another chance.

I am a mental health therapist. My work is to guide and support others toward increased self-knowledge and trust as they negotiate this river called life and strive for meaningful purpose, fulfillment and contentment. As a therapist I am keenly aware that my own experience as a human being deeply impacts my work and ability to effectively help others. Recently, I have encountered many changes in several areas of my life. While reordering my own life, I have been reminded about the importance of some basic healing principles which I share here.

1) Care for yourself each day in the same loving way you share with those most important to you. As women, we have been taught or been bestowed the gift of being nurturing. However, if we carry this to an extreme, we may believe that caring for others is tantamount to being selfless, thereby having no needs or reserves of our own.

Remember the importance of regular self care, in order to have the energy, love and enthusiasm to share with others. Self-nurturing is very positive and contagious, containing a balance of basic activities (i.e. exercise, rest, healthy foods) and activities of self-discovery that encourage playful joy and inner serenity. The later component is not mysterious or complicated. It is composed primarily of small treasures. For example, try one of the following each day, as your inner wise woman dictates: light a candle, hear or make music, dance, spend time outdoors or in a garden, buy yourself flowers, read a book, watch a movie, go window shopping, take a bubble bath or get a massage. If you include self care as a part of your daily routine, you may also find more inner strength, wisdom and a sense of the sacred.

2) Re-evaluate your priorities and the goals you choose to pursue currently. Feel free to change course, as needed. Most people periodically review the course of their lives and determine their current level of satisfaction. This may seem to be more intense at particular times in our lives, mid life being the one mentioned here. Allow yourself to try new approaches and/or new goals. It is important to reach for our dreams during our lives. Some people prefer more structure, having a clear set of goals and steps to take to reach them. Others are more content following their intuition to guide them toward a life of satisfaction, contentment and continual discovery as each day is revealed. Both approaches have merit. Perhaps a combination of them is ideal, since it encourages playfulness, personal power, flexibility, self-awareness, trust and positive self-regard.

3) Honor the power of family and friends in your life. Our lives can often become so frazzled by the clutter of demands on our time that we feel isolated or neglect some of the greatest resources we have, family and friends. If we have experienced change in our life, we may also have channeled much of our time and energy in that direction, again not investing in all potential sources of personal support. If you are grieving a loss, you may feel more inclined to withdraw and isolate yourself, hearing an inner voice telling you that no one cares or wants to hear about your pain. Maybe it is time to pick up pen and paper, the phone or get on e-mail and contact someone special you have not heard from in a while. You are likely to be surprised that the person will not only listen, but has had similar experiences and may have wisdom to share, while providing support to you to find your own way. If you have exciting news they will share and increase your happiness.

4) Ask for help. Many of us believe that we have to find all the answers ourselves in order to prove ourselves worthy. We believe that if we seek guidance from a counselor or the clergy that we are showing a weakness. This is not true. These professionals in a career in which they help others, and have training to listen without judgment and support the person to discover their own best answer. These professionals may offer some new perspectives and help us remember what our core values and priorities are. Mentors, and teachers are also excellent people to contact when seeking help. They may have a more personal relationship with you and may know some of your dreams and challenges. This perspective may help them to give suggestions to make the path a little smoother.

5) Allow the magic of time to reveal future possibilities and restore hope and trust. We have all heard the saying that time heals all. The one thing that we seem to be able to count on is change, despite efforts to make our lives operate smoothly and according to a schedule. Change and time are part of the self-regulating process. The important idea to remember here is to utilize other possibilities mentioned above so that we can find the hope that may have been lost for a while. Just keep going. Do one thing each day that is a positive action for your life. The days and weeks and months will continue. Soon you will be in a different season, with new opportunities, feeling more self-contentment and having renewed interest in life.

Linda Anderson is a therapist in private practice in the Seattle area, Ballard community. She has a Master of Science in psychology, is a Washington state Certified Mental Health Counselor and has over 20 years of clinical experience. She works with individuals of all ages, couples and families. You can reach her by calling 206-782-7448.